**WARNING**
This post may be long and I am going to talk a little about girls stuff...so GUYS, you have been warned!
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Where to begin....
So over Christmas I was afraid that I was pregnant. It would have been a total shocker/miracle baby, and I honestly wasn't very happy about it. The unhappiness was all for selfish reasons, and believe me I know what a miracle it is to be able to get pregnant easily. I have a sister and several family members who have fertility issues, so please don't think I am insensitive to those who struggle....my heart goes out to you! Anyway...so I thought I was prego and I wasn't excited about it. For once in my life I kind of had things mapped out. I knew when I wanted to start trying again...I had just been given some trainer sessions for Christmas...I had just asked for and started a new skin treatment that was expensive and can't be used when prego...etc, etc. Not to forget the fact that my little one year old can be quite the handful at times. Needless to say I had decided that I really wanted to get back into shape before I got pregnant and was doing some things for myself. Now I am not one to keep track of how many days my cycle is, but all I know is that in the past when I have been late...I have been pregnant. So I finally took a pregnancy test.....NEGATIVE! So I decided to give it another week and see if I start my period. Another week goes by....another pregnancy test...NEGATIVE! Hmmmmm? I was due for my lovely "yearly" appt with my OB, so I gave them a call and had an appointment set up for a couple days later. I went to the Dr. and informed them that I thought I might be pregnant, but had had 2 neg tests. So I asked the nurse to draw some blood and check again. She did, and also decided to draw another vile in case they wanted to check anything else if I wasn't pregnant. About 10 min later she was back....NEGATIVE! Ok, so I wasn't pregnant, but what was wrong with me. My Dr. didn't think much of it and just said it happens sometimes. She told me that if I didn't start in the next couple months they would run a few test. I informed her that the nurse had taken a second vile of blood, so she decide to check my thyroid since they already had the blood. She told me a couple times that she didn't expect anything to come back abnormal. Now jump ahead to last night and I received a phone call about 6 pm from the Dr. office. She was calling to tell me my lab results...
HYPOTHYROIDISM
It was honestly kind of a coincidence that they even checked my blood or my thyroid, because the nurse just happened to draw extra blood, and I went back on birth control which could have easily made me have a period so they would have had no reason to check. The nurse told me that I could have been feeling some symptoms like tiredness, fatigue, skipping a period (this was a first for me), weight gain or difficulty losing weight. Ummm HELLO...YES!! After I hung up and told Dave he asked me if that scared or worried me at all and I said, "No...it actually makes me feel hopeful!" Now let me explain....So ever since I had Brynlee (not Halle...Brynlee) I just really haven't felt like myself. I have in some ways, but I had kindof just lost that drive for life. Thru HS and College I was always a pretty driven person who tried to accomplish a lot, be good at things, and was pretty outgoing. Not long after having Brynlee I felt that part of me kind of diminish. I just didn't really care anymore.....well I did, but didn't know how to get that part of me back. For a while I thought I might be mildly depressed and just mainly because I had no drive and just didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. Honestly...I take a nap almost every day with my girls and in the morning it takes me sooo long to get moving. At times it has been worse than others, but I just chalked it up to staying up too late (which I do), not being a morning person (which I'm not), and just plain laziness. And then there's the weight issue. Now I am not claiming to be hugely fat or anything, but my body has definitely changed and not for the better! I do get very big when I am pregnant, tend to eat more than I need, and have a terrible sweet tooth, but I do work out and don't see a ton of results. There is definitely a lot more that I can/could do to lose weight, but I was putting in some effort.
All in all, it was just nice to know that it was not all in my head...there is kindof an excuse for how I have been feeling for SO LONG now. I really have no idea how long my Thyroid hasn't been working properly, but I wouldn't be surprised if it has been for over 3 years! I know this isn't going to be a miracle pill that will make me lose weight in a couple weeks, but I just really hope that it helps me get back to the way I used to be(if I still remember what that is). Obviously my priorities have changed and a lot of my time and effort goes into my kids, but hopefully this will give me more energy and drive to be a better mom. It makes me sad to think that this is the only "me" that Brynlee has ever known. There is still so much that I need to work on in my life, but hopefully this will be a nice push in the right direction. It is weird to think that I will be on a medication for the rest of my life, but if it helps me, it is all worth it!
24 comments:
I totally know what you mean about babies and being pregnant--Tanner was the shock of my life! A girl just has to be prepared for that--it is a huge deal! and as for the thyroid thing...it totally runs in my family. grandma, mom, uncle, aunts, I'm just waiting for my turn. My mom says when she doesn't take her drugs she feels like a dead person...they should help a lot. At it will totally be worth it to feel a little more normal again.
A diagnosis is a relief in this case! I am glad you are going to start to feel better! Modern medicine is a wonderful thing!
Wow Tiff, that is crazy. I am so glad that they figured it out!! I hope that the medicine helps you feel better. All of my moms sisters and their daughters have Thyroid problems (except my mom & I) I know that the medication has helped them a lot:) Good luck with everything!!
I'm glad that you found out some info from the doctor that might help. Hope you start feeling better soon!!
I hope that you get feeling like yourself again. It is so crazy how much having children can change the way we think of ourselves, the way we feel, and the way our body's work. I have gone through some of the ups and downs, and I think it is the repetition thing that makes it hard to get out of the bed in the morning. (some day's it feels like ground hog day) I swear every day I clean up the same stinking mess!!! Just know that you are not the only one that feels the way you have, and it is normal. And you are not fat at all, but it is crazy what your body looks like after you have kids. I don't know if mine will ever feel normal again but it is so worth it. Your girls are so beautiful, and they take after there Mom!
keep us updated on how you are feeling, and I really hope that the pill works.
I'm so glad you didn't just let this go. People have no idea what children do to your body, physically, emotionally and mentally, unless they have children. Although I do agree with Jill, you are not fat, I hope you feel things return to normal and get your zest for life again. The things we do for babies!!!
Wow. That's great that you finally found out. I have friends that deal with this too and it is so nice that there is medication that can help. I'm sure it feels good to finally have an answer. I hope you feel better soon!
I just read everyone elses comments and don't really have anything to add. But I agree, it is great that you have it diagnosed and can now do something about it. I'm pretty sure I don't have a thyroid problem, but I do know what you mean about not feeling like your old self. I think I (and a lot of women) just try to put on a happy face sometimes...but really, sometimes the change from carefree, single, childlessness to parenthood is a hard transition. Anyway, I'm glad that you've got it figured out! Good luck!
Tiff, Im so happy for you. Not that you have a thyroid problem but that your going to start feeling better. Instead of writing a huge paragraph, Ill give you a call soon!! Love you!!
I totally know that feeling of things not seeming right with your body and how nice it is to have a diagnosis , it is frustrating to not feel like yourself. My sisters have had thyroid problems and friends. I am sure you will see a change with medication and maybe you will just need it for a short time to get things back in order.
oh and just for the record I saw you at church and you are such a gorgeous stylish fit looking mamma, with two of the most adorable girls. I couldn't believe how old little Halle is looking walking all around and Brynlee such a grown up well behaved sunbeam.
wow tiff...how awesome that they were able to catch this!
I am so happy for you to be able to have this diagnosis because sometimes I think we just chalk things up to "life" and continue on when there really WAS a medical reason behind the things you were feeling!
My family has a genetic thyroid cancer. (I don't carry the gene though) but my bros and sisters that do have had their thyroids (and parathyroids) removed and honestly, it is amazing to watch what the synthroid levels can do when out of whack! Like, when my bro starts sleeping 12 or more hours a day, my mom knows its not just a "teenager" thing, but that he needs to have his levels adjusted! :)
All the women in my family also struggle with thyroid problems--I found out for myself while I was at BYU. The meds really help us, so I hope they do the same for you. Good luck with feeling better. (We'd love to have you guys come up sometime so Ani and Brynlee can play).
Tiff, I'm glad that you were able to get to the bottom of not feeling well. Sometimes we ignore ourselves because we are so busy taking care of our little ones. I know how it is to not feel like yourself...not fun. Hope the treatment works fast and you feel better!
that is crazy...you are not alone- maybe i have that too...i hate getting out of bed in the morning. like you, i use to be really chipper and bubbly. i swear now i'm just frustrated and annoyed all of the time. do i just need an attitude adjustment? do i just not like kids as much as i did when i didn't "have" them?i don't feel like i use to either. glad you got this taken care of. i relate to so many of your blog entries---keep them coming.
Hey! I just came across your blog thru Nancy's - and I'm here to tell you that the meds work! I was diagnosed w/Hyperthyroid, then had it "killed", and now am hypothyroid. It explained so much of my mood swings, weight issues, tiredness, and being motivated to do anything...and fertility issues. Anyway, I hope you start noticing a difference with the pills. I'm just glad they're tiny and inexpensive! :o) Your girls are darling by the way!
I know what it's like to feel like you're pregnant and know that it is not in the plan. I'm glad that your doctor got things figured out, and I hope you start feeling like yourself again soon.
I know what your experiencing, my sister had a hyperactive thyroid and when she was just standing in place sometimes her heart would start beat like she was running a race. She ended up having to have her thyroid killed. Thats been about 12 years and she still has to make frequent doctor visits to get her levels checked and make sure she is on the right dose of medication.
I am glad that they found out what is wrong with you. Good Luck I hope you start feeling better...
Wow, Tiff! Who would've thought? What a blessing that they had extra blood and decided to test it! I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but I'm glad that there's something that can be done! Good luck! Keep us posted on how it goes!
Tiff I am glad that you are okay and it is not something major or life threatening. Keep me posted on how you are feeling!
I'm so glad that you are feeling hopeful about this--you totally should. It's hard enough to be a mom, and especially with this issue having plagued you. I'm sure that you'll start to feel better soon, now that you know what to treat! So sorry that you've had to struggle for so long. You look fabulous, like always and your girls are adorable.
I jumped on your blog from Jill's. Sorry to hear your going through the fun ups and downs of this. I was diagnosed with this a few weeks back actually. My Dr. sent me to an endocrinologist to keep things monitored and in check I found for me they tend to know a little more and helped me feel a lot better faster. Hope this helps and that you start feeling better.
Tiff mcculloch vail
I am soo glad you know now so you can deal with this the right way! I learned a year ago that after each kid its a good idea to have your thyroid tested cause it can change with each pregnancy! I hope that you respond well to the treatment, and a HUGE P.S...you look great already so don't stress chica!
So glad that there is hope for you. What a miracle that you were able to get the right tests and a diagnosis! Isn't Heavenly Father great?? I love the way He works. Hope it helps you to get back to the way you want to feel.
Thanks again for having dinner with us. Vaughn and I really enjoyed seeing ya'll.
I read this post a little while ago and keep forgetting to post a comment. I've been thinking about you though ever since I read it. You really are amazing! It's gotta feel so good to finally get a diagnosis for how you've been feeling, I had no clue! I hope we can see you guys sometime soon. We miss you!!!! Hang in there!
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